It was the first time I’d ever been to Arq, it was a school night but I no longer care about that sort of thing - I’m living out of home and about to drop out anyway, so I went with my new-ish gay friend Alex C, who’s in his 20s, and managed to get us in using my recently acquired fake ID/golden ticket (I’m only 15 and it says I’m 27 !!) - only had a couple of drinks to begin with (still pretty lightweight with booze and just tend to drink leftover dregs or free drinks), danced with some cute rich looking older guys - chatted up some daddies (Depeche Mode - ‘Personal Jesus’). Alex grabbed me and dragged me into the Men’s room. He pulls me inside a stall and closes the door behind us. I thought for a moment he was going to make out with me or something - I was kinda into it but also scared/confused because I was certain he had no interest in this little androgynous teenage runaway. And he wasn’t (pretty sure). He pulled out a baggie of white powder, drugs (duh). “What’s that?” I asked, feigning innocence - “Don’t worry just have some you’ll love it! it’s a fun little pick me up!” He pushes the bag towards me, “what though, like coke? SPEED?” he prepares a bump on the end of his key “SPEED.” I’d never tried SPEED up until this point (only cocaine, heroin, weed, alcohol and amyl - so sheltered!) but I’d already given up on going to school before lunch the next day (if at all) so covered one nostril, hovered the other above the small mound of off-white powder and inhaled with all my might and accuracy, like a flying saucer abducting a human, sucking up inside for probing (beam me up snotty). Maybe it was bad SPEED or maybe I was too drunk/excited already, but I don’t remember feeling much different, just more awake I guess. I mean I was already pretty drunk and excited by being in a gay bar on a school night and recently free from home and feeling alive & invincible, so perhaps the SPEED just buoyed that natural high. Anyway, we checked ourselves out in the mirror by the basins for just slightly too long, before leaving back to the dancefloor, and another few Bourbon & Cokes courtesy of another handsome older man with more dollars than sense. I checked my phone and it was getting close to 3am, Alex was still raging on with some cute tanned twinks but I was starting to feel tired and bored and like I just wanted to go home and relax, maybe listen to some records (Bikini Kill - ‘I Hate Danger’). Still fuelled by all the caffeine/amphetamine I said my goodbyes, and ventured back out onto the street. It was a balmy night but not too sticky or warm, just the right temperature to take a walk, and besides it would help me wear myself out a bit so when I get home I can fall asleep with relative ease..
I’m feeling pretty good, spring in my step, a little bit tipsy but aware and VERY present. I chat to some cute guys outside the club and they give me a toke on their joint (thanks) - cross over Taylor Square and begin my walk home. As I am about to walk past Stonewall I hear what sound like pleas/cries for help. I look around and nobody else seems to notice - and then I catch the source of the yells: a middle-aged Asian man, strapped in and seated in the driver’s seat of a hatch-back that is stopped and pulled over, but not parked. “Help me! Help me! Excuse me young man! Can you please come help me?” so I go up to the passenger’s side door (closest to the sidewalk) which has been open this whole time, and lean in to hear him - “What’s the matter?” He gestures for me to come closer, so I lean in even further, now with the upper-half of my body inside his vehicle, and he grabs me, attempting to pull me completely inside the vehicle (presumably to then drive off & abduct me?). I struggled back and forth with him, shouting “NO!” while he was ranting and raving something about wanting to hire me as a ‘nude model’ for him to take photos of. My dreams have been finally answered! (not). I manage to break free from his grip just as he decides to floor it and SPEED off, so I am lucky enough to escape, but am dragged a metre or two along the tarmac while I’m removing myself from the vehicle entirely as he drives away. A few scratches and bruises, nothing serious. There are a few people standing around watching in horror and yelling things by this point (although only one person attempted to actually help me out of the car) - a few bears came and comforted me, tried to convince me to come into Stonewall for a drink and ‘dance my worries away’ - strangely I wasn’t in the mood. Instead I resume my walk home from Darlinghurst to Redfern, but now feeling a bit more frazzled and shaken than before, as opposed to the ‘alive and present’ of 15 minutes earlier. Only a few more blocks down Oxford Street, just past the Hungry Jack’s, and a Taxi slows down beside me. They have their top light off, which would normally indicate that they’re occupied or not taking passengers, but he winds down the window and looks right at me as if to ask if I need a cab, “Sorry man, I don’t have enough money, was just going to walk home - thanks anyway though”, He pulls in to the kerb and almost comes to a stop “Which way are you headed? I’ve just knocked off for the night so I can maybe drive you part of the way at least if it’s in the right direction..?” “Redfern” I reply without a second thought - its late, getting cold and I just had a freak experience - I wanna go home now. “That’s perfect, I’m only in Alexandria myself - hop in, you look like you could use the ride, on the house!”. I remember thinking “what a lovely cabbie” to myself at that moment. I jump in the passenger’s seat and we head off down towards Redfern. “Where exactly in Redfern are we going, just so I can figure out the best route..?”, “38 Cope St. Redfern, just parallel to Regent Street/Botany Rd.. I live across from the park if you know where that is?” “Perfect” he replies, “That works well for me.” (The Cars - “Drive”) He seems friendly enough, and quite frankly I’m just relieved to be heading home. “What have you been doing tonight?” he asks with a smile, seemingly making small-talk, “Just been out at Arq and The Colombian with a friend of mine, heading home because I got tired..” Staring out the window, it seems as though the streetlights are starting to pass by a little more quickly/frequently. “Those are nightclubs no? for men only yes? You like other men? (he winks) You look a bit young for that, how old are you?” In my peripheral vision I notice that he glances over at me quickly, but I miss his expression this time, then it’s eyes back to the road. “I’m only 16 (15 actually) but I have a fake ID so I can get into most places easily enough haha..” I figure laughter might lighten the mood a little, there’s an intangible sense of tension in the air (impending doom). Silence for a minute. (Vacuum/space). The doors suddenly all lock at once , and he looks over at me and says “Only 16! Now I feel even guiltier about touching you later” with a wink and a smile, ignoring the road and stroking his erection through his trousers. He picks up SPEED, and we run a red light, narrowly avoiding a crash at a busy intersection “Are you scared?” he asks, as if it’s a turn on. We run another red light. “Yes, please slow down and watch the road, I just want to get home safely and you don’t have to do this, we can work something out - whatever you want”. (AC/DC - “Highway to Hell”) “I bet you wish you never got in my taxi now, don’t you?” … I don’t answer, I just stare out the window. The passing (now blurred) landscape continues to pick up pace. I notice one of his hands in my lap as he begins undoing my pants, I pretend not to notice and let him continue. “BEEEEEEEEEEEPPP!!!!!!!” skkkkrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeecchhhhh - we come to a sudden stop. whiplash, I hit my head on the dashboard but am otherwise OK. (The Normal - “Warm Leatherette”). The driver is fine, but swearing. The doors are all still locked. The other car involved has driven off, there’s probably some cosmetic damage to the outside of the car but he’s got bigger fish to fry right now. ‘Seize the day’ as they say. So he regains ‘composure’ (murderous rage), checks the rear view mirror, puts both hands back on the wheel and continues off on his SPEED trip from HELL. He’s taking a very convoluted, round-about route that is in the general direction of my house (to which he already knows the exact address) but by no means the best way to go - he’s just taking his time, I guess figuring out what he wants to do with/to me. “Take them off” he instructs sternly, as we hurtle through another red light. I guess he realised there’s only so much he can do with his hands all at once, and i’ve done my pants back up in case the crash was the end of our ‘encounter’. (un)lucky me. I remove my pants. “And those too, take them off” he says, referring now to my boxer briefs, so I follow orders and remove them too. I’m strangely kind of turned on right now and have a semi. He starts playing with me with his ‘spare’ hand and I quickly lose my erection and snap back to reality. He gets pissed off and pulls his (rock hard) cock out of his open fly, which he instructs me to suck. I begrudgingly oblige and start to go down on him, there’s no point fighting this guy, he’s like 7 foot tall, and could easily overpower me physically in any situation, not to mention the fact that I am locked in his taxi which he has complete control of. While I’m giving him a half-assed Blowjob I notice that the vehicle has slowed down and seems to be making several turns, out of the corner of my eye I notice that we’re in the backstreets of Redfern, not far from my home. I continue ‘bobbing for apples’ (gagging on his lethal weapon). The car comes to a complete halt and he violently pushes my head right down with both hands until i’m choking on him, thrusting himself deep inside me as if he wants to impale me with his boner, and holds me there until i’m completely out of breath, before pulling me up with the same force by my hair, gasping for air like a drowning victim (what a gentleman). “Stay right there and don’t fuckin’ move.” I’m wheezing, trying to get my breath back. Things are looking blurry but I can make out roughly where we are - parked behind the park just opposite my house. He lets himself out, but makes sure to keep the doors locked so that I can’t - he’s inspecting the damage to the cab, and he’s getting angrier. He unlocks the driver’s door and leans right in, grabs me by the collar brings my face right up to his and screams “You fucked up my cab you little faggot, you’re gonna have to pay it off now hahaha.” with a creepy, sinister smirk. He turns out all the lights, checks to make sure there’s nobody else around (witnesses), yanks me out of my seat and drags me around the back, pointing out all the scratches on the taxi to me “see what you made me do you little bitch?” his eyes widen and reveal no soul behind them. (Nine Inch Nails - “Animal”). He forces his big wet tongue into my mouth, whips it around violently, and pulls it out, then looks me up and down (i can barely stand as it is right now) and punches me repeatedly in the stomach. I double over and cough up some blood, he spins me (right round baby right round, like a record, baby…) around and bends me over the trunk. He sticks it in and out, in and out, innnnnn aaaaaannnnddddd oooouuuutttttttttttt repeatedly (forever), slaps me around while he’s inside me - back and forth/smack and force/back and forth in an angry, violent stabbing motion. He shreds my tissue, thuggishly tears it up, leaving a black hole (vacuum/space), and finishes inside it without a condom. It lasted an eternity. It was fast and furious. It was fast AND slow. It was all over in a matter of minutes (it lasted a lifetime). Time slows down at different S P E E D / S.
MELBOURNE : SUNDAY JULY 13TH W. ATOM + DRIBBLE + EXEK + DJ LAKES AT THE JOHN CURTIN HOTEL, LYGON ST.
SYDNEY : THIS SUNDAY W. LAKES / NEXT WEDNESDAY AT FLINDERS - FREE! / ‘CLÜB GLØSS’ JULY 31 W. LUCY CLICHÉ + ORION AT LANSDOWNE - FREE!
SELF PORTRAIT WITH MY HOMIES LANA DEL REY AND NO-DOZ, FOOTSCRAY STATION 2013. DISPOSABLE CAMERA.